I am a bad parent

I try very hard to be a good parent.

But it is just so difficult sometimes.

I would like to share with you some of my mistakes so that maybe you won't make them yourself.

When Amber was a baby she learned to walk at a very early age. 

She was only around 10 months old.

Anyone who has children knows that this is an exciting but also an annoying time.

The reason it is annoying is because now you have to chase this little bugger all over the place.

And they are fast!

As a young single mother, Amber and I lived at home with my parents and some of my siblings.

My brothers Billy and Mark along with myself got tired of chasing Amber all over the place.

We were tired from work and we just wanted to sit down for a second and watch some television.

I am not sure which one of us discovered her fear.

Or who decided to use that fear against her......I am voting Mark.

But I took her fear of the Koosh ball.........

In case you aren't familiar a Koosh ball is a rubber ball that has been kind of frayed so it has all of these tentacle type of arms.

The Koosh ball in Amber's case was red and it had a hard plastic face and hands also protruding from its rubber tentacle body.

So I took that fear and we used it.

We would place the Koosh in the hallway to prevent her from leaving the living room.

We would place the Koosh at the bottom of the steps so she wouldn't try to climb the steps......a toddlers favorite thing to do.

We would put that Koosh on anything we didn't want her to touch, move or look at.

It was great!

I mean it was terrible lazy parenting.

It made my life easier but......It traumatized her for life.

We recently saw one in a store and Amber still had the same reaction after all of these years.

My other example is the annual summertime showing of the movie Jaws.

When I go to the beach I like to sit back and relax.

Catch some rays, read a good book, people watch and talk to my sisters.

Having children ruins this experience completely especially if they want to go in the water.

It's fine if they are content digging in the sand under the umbrella but when they want to go down by the water you have to get up.

And stand down there.

So my solution was to show the movie Jaws at the beginning of the summer.

It helps when they are young if you throw in that the movie was shot at (insert your beach location)

The movie must be shown every year.

Children very easily forget so it needs to be fresh in their minds.

Treat it as a serious safety film.

Not a this is a cool movie.

More like a public service announcement.

Amber always had a tendency to be a little bit of a chicken......I mean she was afraid of a red rubber ball.

The boy on the other hand liked the movie from the very first viewing.

He thought sharks were awesome.

He wanted a pet shark.

He wanted to watch shark week and go to the aquarium to see the sharks.

So in order to break him 

I took him to the water.

As he splashed and jumped over waves. 

His back to the vast sea his face happily facing me.

I suddenly made an Oh my God face and pointed.

He flew to my side and I was like oh never mind I just thought I saw a shark fin.

He was done after that.

Happy to bury himself in the sand and build a nice sandcastle.

Terrible

Horrible Parenting

Relaxing day at the beach....yes guaranteed

but terrible parenting.

One last example.

For I fear if I give you too many you may turn me in to social services.

The Pinky Promise

The pinky promise is a sweet innocent thing.

You hook your pinky to someone else and say "pinky promise"

its very sweet.

My twist to this is that I told my children that if you break a pinky promise an evil spirit will come in the night and steal your mother's soul.

She will live for all eternity knowing that you are the one who caused her torment.

So for instance.

I promise I won't do (insert whatever here)

pinky promise?

When your child knows that the promise they are making is not something they plan to keep they will retract the promise.

You pinky will sit hooked in the air until they revise the promise to something more reasonable.

The boy is especially sensitive to the pinky promise.

He is a Mama's boy and would never send his mother to torment over a broken promise.

The minute the words pinky promise escape my lips he is backing away.

Stammering and coming up with a new plan or promise.

This helps when you really want them to do something.

For instance

Mom: I will let you play your video game if you promise to clean your room after.

Kid: Ok Mom I promise

Mom: Pinky Promise?

At this point you can almost see them thinking.....Shit she got me again.

Please do not try any of these at home.

They are terrible 

and I just wanted to confess that I am not a perfect parent.

I am currently reading: Summerland

Are you batshit crazily addicted to Pinterest?

Hello my name is Jennifer and I am a Pinterest addict.

I am sure you are aware that out there on the interwebs is a site so addictive it should be illegal.

It is called Pinterest.

The idea is that people go out on the internet

or post from their own blog, tumblr or whathaveyou

and find things that they like....

books, movies, clothing, art, animals Whatever

and they "pin it" onto these little boards.

It sort of takes the memory board or wish board or vision board 

idea and makes it into virtual.

I waste a hell of a lot of time on there.

I am embarrassed to say.

BUT there is so much to look at.

and love.

and repin!

Currently I have an addiction to the color blue.

Any variation

Teal

Sky

Baby

Periwinkle

Navy

it doesn't matter.

If its blue....I want it. I love it. I have got to have it. Or at least repin it.

There are also so many crafts to try unsuccessfully to make.

And I say unsuccessfully because hello this shit is legit.

It isn't easy to do stuff.

Even though they present it that way with their little tutorials.

So don't fall for it.

You will end up with a disaster that looks nothing like the lovely thing you saw.

Causing you to sink into a deep self deprecating depression.

Two of my most favorite things in the world are shoes and books.

So I fill my boards with those things.

Oh and zombies.

I have a zombies board.

If you are an author it is another way to market your book.

Get your friends, family, neighbors or blog fellows to "pin" your book on their page.

Then the people who follow their pins will see your book.

Click on it and buy it.

There are times when I am pretty sure that I have wasted valuable writing time on Pinterest.

And when all is said and done I get nothing from this site.

It does not make me more informed.

Or more creative.

Smarter.

A better Parent.

it isn't even entertaining.

but it is fun!

How about you?

Are you addicted to Pinterest?

I am reading: I just finished Gone Girl 

Summer Reading

Hello friends.

Are you staying cool?

It is hot here in Pennsylvania. 

I took a picture of the temperature in my car which I will use to remind myself every time I complain its too cold this coming winter.

This heat is made worse by the fact that I am pretty sure I am pre menopausal because I have been having terrible hot flashes.

But thats not what I want to talk about because I do have at least one male loyal reader Andrew and I am certain he has no interest in talking about hot flashes. 

I have been keeping a list of books that I would like to read this summer.

Some of the books are books I meant to read in the winter but never got to.

I am a little disappointed in how short my list is.

Usually by this time I have a whole pile of books that I plan to read but sadly this year I have no pile and only a few titles written on a scrap of paper.

I thought I would maybe share with you my list and hopefully you can give me a few to add.

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

Barnes and Noble Overview:

 On a warm summer morning in North Carthage, Missouri, it is Nick and Amy Dunne’s fifth wedding anniversary. Presents are being wrapped and reservations are being made when Nick’s clever and beautiful wife disappears from their rented McMansion on the Mississippi River. Husband-of-the-Year Nick isn’t doing himself any favors with cringe-worthy daydreams about the slope and shape of his wife’s head, but passages from Amy's diary reveal the alpha-girl perfectionist could have put anyone dangerously on edge. Under mounting pressure from the police and the media—as well as Amy’s fiercely doting parents—the town golden boy parades an endless series of lies, deceits, and inappropriate behavior. Nick is oddly evasive, and he’s definitely bitter—but is he really a killer? 

Summerland by Elin Hilderbrand 

(she is my summer reading staple)

Barnes and Noble Overview:

 A warm June evening, a local tradition: the students of Nantucket High have gathered for a bonfire on the beach. But what begins as a graduation night celebration ends in tragedy after a horrible car crash leaves the driver of the car, Penny Alistair, dead, and her twin brother in a coma. The other passengers, Penny's boyfriend Jake and her friend Demeter, are physically unhurt - but the emotional damage is overwhelming, and questions linger about what happened before Penny took the wheel.

As summer unfolds, startling truths are revealed about the survivors and their parents - secrets kept, promises broken, hearts betrayed. Elin Hilderbrand explores the power of community, family, and honesty, and proves that even from the ashes of sorrow, new love can still take flight.

She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb 

(one of my hold overs from the winter)

Barnes and Noble Overview:

In this extraordinary coming-of-age odyssey, Wally Lamb invites us to hitch a wild ride on a journey of love, pain, and renewal with the most heartbreakingly comical heroine to come along in years. Meet Dolores Price. She's 13, wise-mouthed but wounded, having bid her childhood goodbye. Stranded in front of her bedroom TV, she spends the next few years nourishing herself with the Mallomars, potato chips, and Pepsi that her anxious mother supplies. When she finally orbits into young womanhood at 257 pounds, Dolores is no stronger and life is no kinder. But this time she's determined to rise to the occasion and give herself one more chance before she really goes under.

I also preordered Jennifer Hillier's new book 

Freak

which I am excited to read. It somes out 8/7

Barnes and Noble Overview: 

Sitting alone in a maximum-security prison cell, Abby Maddox is a celebrity. Her claim to fame is the envy of every freak on the outside: she’s the former lover of Ethan Wolfe, the killer who left more than a dozen dead women in his wake and nearly added Puget Sound State professor Sheila Tao to the tally. Now Abby, serving a nine-year sentence for slashing a police officer’s throat in a moment of rage, has little human contact—save for the letters that pour in from demented fans, lunatics, and creeps. But a new wave of murders has given Abby a possible chance for a plea bargain—because this killer has been sending her love letters, and carving a message on the bodies of the victims: Free Abby Maddox.

Odd Apocalypse by Dead Koontz comes out 7/30

I love the Odd Thomas series so I am very excited for this book.

Barnes and Noble Overview:

In advance of the much-buzzed Odd Thomas major motion picture, Odd Apocalypse chronicles Odd Thomas’s most riveting adventure to date, as his mysterious journey of suspense and discovery moves to a dangerous new level. The Odd Thomas series is kicked into overdrive as Odd confronts deadly adversaries in a decaying estate straight out of Sunset Boulevard.

And another preorder but it doesn't come out until 9/27 so its not really a summer read is the much anticipated JK Rowling release

The Casual Vacancy

Barnes and Noble Overview: 

When Barry Fairweather dies unexpectedly in his early forties, the little town of Pagford is left in shock

Pagford is, seemingly, an English idyll, with a cobbled market square and an ancient abbey, but what lies behind the pretty façade is a town at war.

Rich at war with poor, teenagers at war with their parents, wives at war with their husbands, teachers at war with their pupils...Pagford is not what it first seems.

And the empty seat left by Barry on the town's council soon becomes the catalyst for the biggest war the town has yet seen. Who will triumph in an election fraught with passion, duplicity and unexpected revelations?

And that is it.

Not much of a long list this summer.

Do you have any you would like to recommend?

I am reading: The Breath of God by Jeffrey Small

Introducing Brayden

I have mentioned Brayden.

He is our newest family member.

Brayden is a French Bulldog.

He currently weighs 10 pounds and will weigh around 20 when he is full grown.

We bought him from the same breeder we bought Perry from.

When Christopher decided he was in need of a new friend he specified that he wanted to get him from the same breeder but he did not want to get another cream colored because it would be too hard if the new puppy looked exactly like Perry. 

He opted for the black/brindle.

Brayden is extra spoiled because we all want to hold him and pet him as we try to 

heal from the loss of Perry.

I took Brayden down the shore with me this weekend.

I went down to help my sister get her rental property ready for the season.

He had a great time.

I walked him down to the beach in the morning to show him the ocean.

He did not care for the sand.

Until he saw the seagulls.

But I would not let him chase them.

Because he wasn't really supposed to be on the beach.

And because seagulls are nasty suckers.

When I told him No! He made this face at me.........

it's his mad face.

We walked him down to the ocean.

He did not like getting his feet wet but we had to at least let him put his feet in.

It would have somehow been wrong not to.

Christopher quickly picked him up and the two looked out into the vastness of the ocean together.

I love how much comfort Christopher gets from having this new friend.

He is enjoying the responsibility of training Brayden and also teaching him all of the tricks he once taught Perry.

I enjoyed bugging my sister whenever I referred to Brayden as Christopher's brother or referred to her as Aunt Judy when I was speaking to Brayden.

My nieces Ashley and Miranda, who were at the shore with us,  took about a thousand pictures of him and posted them in instagram.  

And announced that they were stealing him because he is so cute.

But we would never let that happen.

So please join me in welcoming Brayden to my blog!

Stay tuned to find out how Charlotte is dealing with the loss of Perry and the introduction of Brayden.

Have a wonderful Monday everyone!

I am reading: The Breath of God by Jeffrey Small

Hi! Remember me?

So I have been absent from the blog world. 

But now I am back and I would like to catch you all up on what I have been doing while I was away.

Sadly its nothing really exciting but that is pretty much my life.

Amber left us for Disney World

She was excepted into the Disney College Program and she will be there until January 2nd which also happens to be her 21st Birthday.

She has been having a good time. She calls and complains and I tell her to shut her face.......she is living in the happiest place on earth!

Mostly she complains about her job but I think its more having a job that she is complaining about.

She has made some new friends which has never been a problem for her.

She recently was a "four keys" recipient.

Which is like Disney's version of what we call here where I work a "hole in one card" 

It's basically a recognition for doing something above and beyond your job or by doing your job well.

Not to sound too much like her friend Jason who tried to steal her thunder by saying he has received two......but I get a "hole in one card" all the time.

So......just sayin.

So life without Amber has been......quiet.

I miss her very much and I can't wait to see her when we visit in August!

Before Amber left we welcomed a new puppy into our home.

His name is Brayden.

He is a french bulldog.

We bought him from the same breeder as we did Perry so they are kind of brothers.

He was names after Philadelphia Flyers hockey player Brayden Schenn.

He is adorable and sweet.

He kind of looks like Edgar.....remember him? My Library Gargoyle.

Amber spent some time with her before she left and basically taught him everything she knows about sleeping, being lazy and laying in bed. 

She is practically an Olympic gold medalist at it so.......

 

So now that she is gone he is the laziest one in our house.

Christopher is taking excellent care of him and I think the two of them will be inseparable this summer.

Well folks thats about it. It has been a month of just nothing and everything.

But things have settled and so I am ready to join the blog world again.

One last thing...........At the end of each post I will tell you what I am reading. 

Just cause I plan to do a lot of reading this summer and I don't know if I will always post a review.

Have a fantastic day!

I am reading.........Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter

Dark Shadows a review

On Mother's Day Amber, Christopher and I went to see Dark Shadows.

It wasn't very good.

Some parts were funny and I am a huge Johnny Depp fan and an even bigger Tim Burton fan.

Add to the fact that I love me a vampire and you would think this movie would be the perfect film for me.

But sadly it wasn't what it could have been.

It was cartoonish. It was like watching one of those parody movies.

Johnny Depp was great and Michelle Pfeiffer is more beautiful then ever.

I don't want to give anything away. You know the gist of it.

Barnabas Collins returns to his home after being cursed and buried for centuries.

He finds his beloved Collinwood Mansion in disrepair and his family's company all but shut down.

He goes against the witch that cursed his family and obviously beats her.

Again I won't ruin the end but I will say maybe the worst end ever.

The best part of the movie was not even a part of the movie.

Forgive me a minute for this.

Our seats were as follows Christopher, Me and then Amber.

Next to Amber were to empty seats and then a bunch of people we didn't know.

Before the movie started an older woman and a woman whom we assumed was her daughter came in and sat next to Amber. They had an air of self importance about them.

As if they were better than us.

But they weren't.

Amber's cup holder was in the shared seat arm of the haughty older woman.

Every time Amber took a sip of her drink the woman huffed and noisily made us aware that she was annoyed with my daughters need to drink her ice tea.

So.....the movie starts and there was a funny part.

And the younger woman of the duo laughs and ........forgive me for this.......

farts.

And Amber and I crack up like two twelve year old boys.

The funniest part of all of it was the appalled look on the older woman's face.

It was part disgust and part ewwww you stink!

After the movie was over we sat in the car laughing hysterically while Christopher cringed with embarrassment. He may never go out with the two of us again.

Well that concludes my review of Dark Shadows!

Don't let me stop you from seeing it.....after all you never know who you might sit next to that could make your experience at the theater memorable.

Sorry I was distracted by life

Last week is a blur.

Actually the last couple of weeks.

Its been kind of crazy.

It was Christopher's birthday.

We went to a Stanley Cup playoff game.

Perry passed away.

I turned 40.

The Flyers made it to the second round of the playoffs.

We got a new puppy.

Amber came home from college.....and so did loads and loads of dirty laundry.

It's funny how life happens like that.

And it doesn't appear that there is any end in sight to the madness. 

Amber will be leaving in two weeks to go to Disney World. 

She will be there for 8 months.

She has to pack......which means I have to pack.

Hopefully the Flyers will start playing like they can and get past the Devils.

School will be out and I will need to find places for Christopher to go all summer.......

Thanks to my live in babysitter going to Disney....ahem Amber

The puppy needs to get house broken.

My kitchen is still torn apart.

but again this is life.

I wouldn't want it to be any other way.......

Well thats a lie.

It would be awesome if I was incredibly wealthy and I could just hire someone to do all of this while I lounged around the pool all summer.

I do have several book which I will be reviewing in the coming months.

I can't wait to get the time to start reading again.

How about you? Has life every tackled you and taken you prisoner?