Please shut the F*** up!

Warning there is going to be a lot of bad words in this post!

Warning I am going to get all real up in here!

Warning I may offend some people but guess what too bad!

So if I may rant for a second..........

The group One Million Moms is upset that JC Penney has chosen Ellen Degeneres as their spokesperson.

Here is a quote from the article I was reading

“Funny that J.C. Penney thinks hiring an open homosexual spokesperson will help their business when most of their customers are traditional families,” the million (or so) moms write on their website. “DeGeneres is not a true representation of the type of families that shop at their store. The majority of J.C. Penney shoppers will be offended and choose to no longer shop there.”

Are you fucking kidding me here people?

The majority of the shoppers will be offended? 

Well I don't shop at Penney's myself so I asked my Mom if is she was going to stop shopping there because Ellen is the spokesperson and she said..... "No I like Ellen DeGeneres"

so there you have it my Mom who is a 75 year old heterosexual woman and mother to 11 children says she is not going to stop shopping at Penney's. 

Enough said. 

Trust me she knows more about raising children and keeping a family together than all One Million of you Moms put together.

Here is another excerpt from that article

With this campaign, One Million Moms, which claims to be “the most powerful tool you have to stand against the immorality, violence, vulgarity and profanity the entertainment media is throwing at your children,” is going after one of the country’s most well-liked television hosts.

Again are you fucking kidding me?

So Ellen should not advertise sweater sets sold at JC Penney because she is gay? 

And this sounds completely reasonable to you?

Okay how about this......

I think people who chew with their mouths open should have to have their jaws permanently wired shut.

I think people who refuse to use their turn signals should have their licenses revoked

I think people who text while driving should have their thumbs cut off

I think people who drink and drive should be charged with possessing a weapon with an intent to kill

I think people who fart in an enclosed space should go to the gas chamber.....no pun intended

I think people who think they are computer experts when they aren't and then they end up making me have to fix everything they fucked up should be sent to live on an island where there is no technology

I think people who do not know how to raise their children to behave themselves when out in public should be made sterile

I think people who teach their children to hate should be shot

Now are some of these things unreasonable?

Maybe

But no more unreasonable then say....... wanting people to fit in this little mold that you decided is the right way to be.

It is not the fault of the gay and lesbian community that American families are in crisis.

It is not the fault of the gay and lesbian community that most marriages fail.

In my opinion American families are in crisis because parents do not want to raise their children.

They worry about how the media is affecting them.....then turn your fucking television off.

They worry about how a celebrity is behaving and how that may influence their child......then you be the fucking example or idol for your child. Stop making excuses!

I loved the Mom from The Cosby show but I did not want to be like her. I wanted to be like MY MOM!

I am not saying I know everything but what I am saying is that I do not depend on the world to raise my children. I depend on myself. I do not expect celebrities to be perfect and behave perfectly so that my kids can grow to be healthy, happy, decedent people.

Thats my job!

Please stop teaching hate.

I have no answer to why more people are getting divorced. I have been married for almost 15 years and there have been times when I think my life would be simpler if I did not have to worry about someone else's bullshit. We fight but it isn't about gay people. I will bet that any of the people I know who have divorced would say the same thing. I have never heard anyone say "Oh I'm getting divorced because people are gay" or "I can't stay married to my husband because gay people are getting married"

I understand that everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

If you know me you know I love this country we live in and I love the fact that everyone has the freedom to speak their opinion.

But I beg you Please stop the hate!

Warning this post is disturbing!

As you all know my daughter Amber is a sophomore at Penn State University.
Like any parent I am concerned about her safety.
But my biggest concern is that she would go down a path that would be bad for her health.
You know what I am talking about people.

Please watch the below video but be warned it is very disturbing!

I am sharing this with you so that you can be better prepared for when your own children go off to college.

Thats right folks Lunchables!

Processed high sodium products with absolutely no nutritional value whatsoever!

Don't let your college age children fall pray to the lore of these products once they are out of your ever watching, nagging eye.

Panic Disorder

Today I would like to talk about panic disorder.

I have it.

At one point in my life it literally consumed my entire world.

I could not get a hold of it and I would spend a great deal of time in utter and complete panic.

I don't consider myself an unreasonable person......well no more unreasonable than most.

But during those dark panic stricken days/months I was completely engulfed in unreasonable thoughts.

I am lucky enough to be a person who does not take themselves too seriously.

I love to laugh at myself and I don't think there is any shame in being different.

It is because of my sense of humor that I survived this terrible time.

While gripped in the panic I would be fearful, sad and dare I say crazy.

Now don't get all high and mighty on me here if I wanna call myself crazy.....well than I will. 

Anyway.....after the panic released its grip on me I could always laugh at my behavior.

Laughter is the best medicine.

I would like to share with you some of my more awkward moments.....feel free to laugh!

I stopped eating because I thought food was getting stuck in my throat.

Everyday at lunch I would chew my food until it was practically disolved and then slowly swallow.

I would then grab onto my sister's arm.....she works with me.....and she would say your fine.

This didn't help I would end up drinking so much water to force down my food that I wouldn't be able to eat any more.

I actually thought an M&M was stuck in my throat one day at work and made someone look down my throat with a flashlight to see if they could see it.

I am not kidding....this really happened.

I had been brought into the local emergency room so many times that the ER Doctor opened the curtain looked at me and said..."Jennifer you really need to get another hobby"

One day while driving home from work I thought I was having a stroke.

I made a quick turn into the nearest firehouse parking lot and blared my car horn.

Firemen came rushing out saw me and threw my door open.

I told them that I was having a stroke.

They called an ambulance while checking my vitals.

They asked if I was taking any medication.

I told them yes in fact I take medication for panic disorder.

.............................................

they cancelled the ambulance and I had to call my brother to come and pick me up.

Those are just a few of my greatest hits.

I know this is a serious subject and trust me I feel awful for putting my children through my drama.

But I can not help but laugh at myself.

If you knew me in real life you would know that I don't embarrass easy.

I am not one to shy away from attention or shrink from an awkward situation.

Usually I try to make a joke out of it....the old laugh with them so they won't laugh at you philosophy

 I guess.

This philosophy is what got me through that terrible time.

I still suffer from panic.
If I get overly hot or get put under extreme stress I will have an attack.
I am not one for medication but I do have a small supply of Xanax which I keep with me.....just in case.
Sometimes just taking that bottle out and holding it in my hand helps. Because I know if I can't get my breathing controlled or relax my thoughts I can just take a half of one of those lovely little pills and I will get relief.
As part of the panic I also am a hypochondriac
If you have something well then I am definitely going to get it.
If I read about something or see it on TV.....yeah I have that.
If I have to take medicine for anything.....a cold or pain or whatever.
My husband removes the side effects warnings because.....you guessed it I will have those side effects.

This is as much a part of who I am as my love of reading and writing is.
I am not ashamed in fact I like being a little crazy!

Have a Terrific Tuesday!

Adventures with Flat Stacey the work edition

So I brought flat Stacey to work with me and she was a lot of help.

And I needed it because I have been incredibly busy.

First she helped me replace a hard drive.

She cut herself on the fan but otherwise she did great.

Then she hung out with Jack Skellington on Mega desk aka my cube.

She polished my trophies while I was gone....

.ugh I hate myself for patting myself on the back but somebody has to do it!

She literally hung out with flat Stanley cup.

A promotion the Flyers had when they were in the cup finals.

Lastly she attempted to help me organize my cable racks..........We ere never able to do it.

Cable racks suck.

So that was flat Stacey's adventure at my work. Tune in for the last installment soon.

Have a thrilling Thursday.

Turtles chew loud

Because Amber left us to go and educate herself at University.

Her room is all but empty.

The only things left are her bed, dresser and desk.
It's so empty that

we kept the door closed because its kind of creepy.

But then Eli, Christopher's turtle, needed a place to stay so we moved his tank into her room.

She complains about it when she is home because he likes to slam against the glass and 

it really is quite loud.

This is not what I really want to talk about though.....What I want to say is

I recently finished listening to Stephen King's 

On Writing

This is a wonderful book whether you read it or listen to it like I am.

If you are considering being a writer you should put it on your list of to read.

I have always found King's bluntness refreshing and real.

He gives wonderful advice and real life suggestions while also letting you know the realities of being a writer.....especially if your only goal is to make money. In his opinion if thats what your after then you should just find a new goal.

This isn't the first time I have read a writer giving this advice.

One of his suggestions which I decide to act on immediately was making a space to write.

King suggests you find a space that has a door.

He says that it could be a closet or a room as long as there is a door to close.

Previously I did my writing in "the Library" aka "the Mom Cave" aka our living room.

But there is no door.

So lucky for me I have a kid away at school so an empty room is readily available.

So this is what I came up with

 It's not bad. The room is fairly empty so there are no distractions. 

It has a door so that's the important thing.

The goal King says you should set is at least 2,000 words a day.

He suggests you start with 1,000 words so that you do not get discouraged but that the goal should be 2,000. He also suggests you close the door.....obviously and not leave that room until you have the 2,000 words. If you can write them in an hour then leave in an hour but if it takes five hours well then you stay in there for five hours.

Since following these suggestions I have written 12,000 words. I feel great. This whole being in a routine has done wonders for not only my writing but also my confidence. I feel like I am really achieving something.

There is only one problem......

Turtles chew loud!

I was sitting in the room happily writing when all of a sudden Eli decided to eat his dinner.

I could not believe how loud he chewed.

Obviously the obnoxious way he chews is amplified by the nearly empty space but geez!

I am not going to let him affect my concentration! 

But my God Eli could you chew with your mouth closed?

Flat Stacey

You have heard of Flat Stanley.

That fun little guy your kids bring home from school.

Its your job to take him on an adventure and then write about it.

Stacey you know her.....my best blog friend

and I thought it would be fun to do a Flat Stacey and a Flat Jenny.

So Flat Stacey came over here to Pennsylvania to hang out with me.

And Flat Jenny flew out to Texas to spend time with Stacey.

We decided after spending time with our flats that we needed more then one post so this week we will be doing a series of posts about our adventures.

The other thing we realized is that we should not hog all of the fun.

If you would like your own flats Stacey and Jenny......they come as a set, we would be happy to snail mail or email them to you. You can then post about your adventure on your blog....we'd be happy to link people to your post or send us an email with photos showing your adventure and we will post it on ours.
And if you would like to create your own flat person and send them to us we would be love to show them all of the sites and then post about it.

Here is the first part of Flat Stacey's adventure........

Flat Stacey helped me with my writers block.

She sat beside my computer and encouraged me whenever I become stuck.

 She volunteered to feed Eli the turtle.

They become so close that she hung out with him in his tank.

 And of course she met Charlotte and Perry.

Although they kept their distance from her....they find it hard to trust new people.

Charlotte did pick her brain on how people in Texas might feel about a creepy doll.

 Edgar let her join him as he guarded the Library.

But she got in a little bit of trouble when she touched some of the vintage books.

Even guests need to follow the Library rules!

She enjoyed looking at my Stephen King novel collection.

 

 

And what would a trip be to visit me without some Harry Potter?

 She got to spend some time in the owlery.

 She had her very own Pottography session.

And yummy some Butterbeer!

After a long first day at Serendipity Manor Flat Stacey needed the house special.

A beer. A real beer.

Come back later this week and read about Flat Stacey's adventures at my office.

Words for 2012

I read somewhere.

I honestly don't remember where.

Probably on the interwebs.

That instead of making a resolution for the new year you should come up with three words that you will use to set the tone for 2012.

I like this idea.

Maybe because resolutions are depressing.....because I never follow them.

Or maybe it's because I love words.

Who knows.........

So here are my three words for 2012.

Create

Not just in the sense of producing something artistically but to 

Create a healthier life

Create a happier home

Create a sense of self worth in myself and my children

I would like to focus on creating as much happiness as I can this year. For myself and others.

Believe

I love this word. 

It means many things to me.

Strength and wisdom are needed to believe something.

Magic is something you also need in order to believe....and who doesn't love magic?

I would like to believe in myself a little more and give the gift of believing in someone else.

Transform

I have noticed and so have others....ahem Chris. A change in myself lately.

I like to think it's a good thing. 

That I am growing.

 Becoming more of myself.

I am really enjoying my new found sense of self.

I worry less about what others think. I like to say its because I am turning 40 

(in April please mark your calendars) 

I love the freedom of getting older. 

So for 2012 I would like to complete that transformation and encourage others to do the same.

These are my words for 2012. 

They suit me I think.....But what about you? what are your words for 2012?