Amber wants me to tell you she is awesome

I was asking my Facebook friends who also are loyal blog readers to give me ideas of what they would like me to write about here on my blog.

All of their ideas were really terrible and it made me wonder why the hell I am Facebook friends with these people.

Because I feel obligated to write about at least one of their suggestions I decided to go with Amber's.....because she is my child.

Amber suggested I write about how awesome she is.

I reminded her that I had already done a post on how cool she is but she felt awesome was a much better description.

So here are my top five reasons Amber is so awesome.

1. She will be interning/working at Disney World from May-January - This is awesome because she is saving me a shit ton of money on tuition and rent. I will also not be receiving any can you please pay my cable bill texts because cable is provided as well as housing and classes. She will have a job so I won't have to say every time she asks me for money...."did you find a job yet?" upon which she whines and hangs up and posts this on my Facebook page.

2. She is the wolds worst liar - Look I am not proud of being a good liar but its a little disappointing that as my child she is so bad at it. I think what makes her awesome is that even though she is terrible at it she keeps trying to improve by lying constantly. 

3. She is very......very lazy - Why is this awesome because I never had to chase her as a child. She would start to run but then get tired and just sit down. I also pretty much know where she is at all times....her bed. She will get up. Take a shower. Do her hair. Put on her makeup. Get all dressed. And then lay in bed for the rest of the day. She's like the grandparents in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. 

4. On the weekends she sends me texts that simply say...."I am alive". She does this to let me know that her illegal consumption of alcohol has not killed her. She knows I do not approve. But she is responsible enough to tell me she is anyway and that it didn't kill her.

5. She says I look like the evil Mom from Tangled - Why is this awesome? Its not its mean and she should treat her mother with a little more respect. After all Mother Knows Best!

Well there you have it folks. 

Now you know how awesome my daughter is..........

Fifty Shades of Grey.....eh

If you are a follower of all things book related than you have heard of Fifty Shades of Grey.

An erotic novel by E.L James.

If you are not a follower of all things book related I am sure you have heard about it too.

Apparently Ms. James started the book as a Twilight fan-fiction piece. 

I will be honest I do not see the similarity at all but........

Anyway the trilogy 

book one Fifty Shades of Grey 

book two Fifty Shades Darker

book three Fifty Shades Free

has become a phenomenon.

And good for Ms. James.

I love to see a self published author do well!

It gives hope to writers who would like to be published someday whether it be self published or traditionally published.

But I have to be honest......I didn't like it.

It has nothing to do with the fact that it is erotic fiction.

I have read my share and I am not ashamed to say it.

Anne Rice writing as A.N Roquelaure

wrote an extremely hot well written erotic trilogy

The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty

Beauty's Punishment

Beauty's Release 

I can not say for sure what it is that I didn't like.

I read it after hearing all of the hype about how incredible it was and I think that might be why I was disappointed. Which happens a lot with books and movies when they get so much attention.

I found the main character Anastasia Steele to be extremely annoying.

I did not think Christian Grey was hot I thought he was quite frankly and asshole.

Maybe its the feminist in me but I am pretty sure I would punch him in the face if he were an actual person.

I need to like the characters to like the book and I just didn't.

If you are interested in reading erotica there are a TON of 99 cent ebooks that will rock your world.

Or buy the Anne Rice trilogy.

Or buy these and support an indie author......whatever.

Here is what my problem is with all of this Grey hullabaloo

Its on the New York Times Bestsellers list?

Really???????

I get that its popular and all but I have read a ton of books this past year that did not make it on that list that were a hell of a lot better.

better written, better character development and much more entertaining.

I'm probably going to get a bunch of hate mail for saying this but....whatever

And sorry to my family who reads my blog

 but maybe I didn't find it as enthralling and best seller worthy as everyone else

because 

I am fulfilled and satisfied in my real life .......if you get what I am saying ;)

Have a happy monday everyone!

Boston....Bruins, Books and Bagpipes

This past weekend we took a nice weekend trip to Boston.

The boy has a little obsession with Boston.

Probably because his sister does.

And probably because when he thinks Boston he thinks Irish.

And although his Dad considers himself Polish (which he is half).

The boy considers himself Irish (which he is half on my side and half on his Dad's).

It's funny how we take on certain aspects of our heritage.

I am Italian/German on my Mother's side and Irish on my Father's.

My brother Peter says he is irish...... as do his children.

My brother Kevin leans more to the Italian 

probably because he looks like

 James Galdolfini from The Soprano's.....pinky ring and all.

                                                Kevin                               James

I think in general most people say they are what their father is so irish would be the right choice in our family. I personally say I am American but I always have to be different or difficult it depends whom you are talking to.

We were not really brought up with strong Irish or Italian traditions it was actually 

a pretty good mix of both.

Anyway...........

Because the boys birthday is coming up 

and it was Saint Patrick's Day

and the Bruins were hosting the Flyers

Chris decided that a nice little trip to Boston would be a good idea.

And he was right.

We had a great time.

Boston was such a nice city filled with history and a lot of people wearing green.

There are a ton of Irish pubs....none of which we could get into because the boy is only 9.

Amber, Christopher and I are Drop Kick Murphy fans so it was cool to be in the city from where they are from. At the Bruins game they play Shipping up to Boston in the 3rd period and the sound of the crowd singing along was very cool.

The Flyers lost in a shoot out but thats okay because they beat the Penguins in Philly the next day!

We did a lot of sightseeing. 

But my favorite was a visit to 

Brattle Book Shop.

It is one of the oldest and largest book shops.

Established in 1825.

It has three floors.

The first two are filled with used books and the third floor has rare books.

It also has a nice outdoor sale lot.

Please enjoy the photos of our visit to Brattle Book Shop

It being St Patrick's day and all a lot of the local restaurants had bagpipers.....is that a word?

outside of their restaurants.

I love the bagpipes so we stopped to listen whenever we saw one.

Getting to Boston from Philly or rather the suburbs of Philly was pretty easy.

Now that Chris has seen how easy it is I think I can convince him to take me to Nantucket this summer.

I hope anyone

After all is it the year of Jenny......since I am turning 40 in April I have dubbed it the year of Jenny.

Well have a wonderful day everyone!

Bigfoot is real

I believe in many things that others do not.

I believe in ghosts/spirits.

I believe in aliens or that there is life on other planets.

I believe there will be a zombie apocalypse.

I believe in the Mothman.

And I believe in Bigfoot.

One of my favorite shows to watch is Finding Bigfoot.

It's on the Animal Planet Chanel.

But the real reason I believe in Bigfoot is because my nephew saw two Bigfoot 

or two Bigfoots as he called them.

I know when you think nephew you are thinking a little kid like this.

But my nephew is actually almost 36 years old and looks like this

He is covering his bald spot with a hat in this picture.

My family owns property in the Susquehanna Mountains.

Its located near a small town called Montrose, PA and not far from Binghamton, NY.

It is a very remote location used mainly for hunting.

The roads are primarily dirt roads that take you down very deserted areas where you have vast woods on either side of the road. Because of its location it gets very very dark at night. There are no street lights.

 And homes are set so far apart and built back so far from the road that you will not get any lights from regular home use spilling out onto the road. 

Basically I am saying it is goddamn dark up there and creepy!

Think Blair Witch Project.

Every November my brothers and nephews congregate at the various houses they own in these mountains 

to hunt deer. 

Legend has it that my nephew...we will call him Kevin

because that's his name.

So Kevin could not leave from Philadelphia to make the three hour trek to the mountains with the rest of the crew because he had work.

At the time he worked for the county prison and was on the 3 to 11pm shift.

So Kevin packed his car and went diligently to work.

After his shift was over he headed straight for the mountains.

The ride was smooth and he was excited to shoot some deer and play Yatzee.

The time was about 1:30 am when he passed through the little town of Montrose.

It was dark and eerily quiet. 

He knew that he was now heading into the lonely roads of the deep woods.

Kevin is and has always been a bit of a chicken.

As he drove the winding dirt road up the steep mountain 

with only the light of the full moon to light his path.

He tried to not scare himself with thoughts of the dark.

He started to decelerate because he knew he was coming around a particularly curvy spot in the road. 

Just as he was making the turn he suddenly saw two large creatures running across the road. 

They were not going very fast and neither was he as it is very dangerous to drive these roads at a high rate of speed. 

The creatures were tall.

One standing maybe seven feet the other six.

The entire bodies were covered in long brownish hair.

Arms dangling long due to the slight hunch of their posture.

Instinct lead Kevin to brake upon seeing these creatures in the road. 

As you would for a deer or person.

But when the creatures looked at him.

Their black eyes locking onto his.

His pulse began to quicken and sweat rolled from his full head of black hair.

Yes this was several years ago when he had hair.

They did not stop and as soon as he released all of the urine from his bladder he laid on the gas and flew the rest of the way to the house where his uncles and father awaited his arrival.

He sprinted from the car and crashed through the door.

Sweating, panting and even crying a little.

He told his tale of the Bigfoots to his uncles and father.

And so that is the legend of the Bigfoots.

What he never told anyone is that when he went into the woods the next day to hunt the Bigfoots appeared below his tree stand. 

They talked for a bit and Kevin realized they weren't so scary. 

They became fast friends and now he visits in the summer during mating season.

I don't know why during mating season but thats when he goes.

The last time he was there someone caught this photo of them together.

Have a wonderful wednesday

Walking Dead .......I love you

Amber said I am not abiding by the designated Spoiler rules.
So I will not be posting my summary of Episode 12 Better Angels.
Even though it was epic.
Even though it was awesome.
Even though I watched it twice.

Instead please enjoy these photos that I got from the AMC Walking Dead website.

Now that didn't spoil anything did it?

Have a terrific tuesday.

Top 5 things to remember when fighting a Zombie

As a public service I am going to provide you with my top 5 things to remember when fighting a zombie.

You're Welcome......

1. Don't !

Whenever possible avoid a melee situation. Kill the zombie from a safe distance with a bow and arrow or a bullet to the brain works nicely as well.

2. Take out the legs

If a head shot is not possible the legs are the next target. Taking out the legs will greatly immobilize the zombie allowing you to get closer for the head shot. It will also prevent the zombie from chasing you if you are in a need to escape situation. If you can't outrun a crawling zombie than you deserve to get eaten.

3. Have the right weapon

A zombie has no central nervous system so stealing that dead police officers Taser is going to do you no good. Pretty much anything that can be used to bash its brains in will work. A long sword is maybe the best weapon as it allows for enough distance to kill without being touched and it does not require ammunition. A gun is also ideal as it can be used at long distance and is quick and simple but be sure to stock up on the right ammunition for your gun of choice. Close range fighting is dangerous but a knife to the head is good. A baseball bat to bash in the brain works. Even a common rock can do the job but it should be a last resort weapon. It is the zombie apocalypse here folks you should not be left with a rock as your only weapon! Remember that.

4. Gear up

Unless you have a some sort of zombie proof fortress you are going to be doing a lot of traveling. Make sure you have the right gear. Supply bags that are easy to carry are key as you may need to abandon your vehicle if you run into a blocked highway. If you happen to find a store that supplies military gear....that hasn't been picked completely clean....grab some armor, bullet proof vests or anything that is used for combat will help if you have to pass through a city with a large zombie population. Good walking shoes would be comfortable but boots would be the best choice because they can be used to kick in a skull if necessary. 

5. Remember they are contagious!

Although the virus is not airborne.....otherwise you would be dead......it is contagious. It is spread by entering into your blood stream so avoid that if you can. It is wise to disinfect yourself after an attack. If any zombie brain matter is splattered on your clothes you would be wise to burn them. If blood or brain matter is on your skin disinfect immediately and cover open cuts or sores so as not to become inadvertently infected.

Well there you have it. I hope this helps in your preparation.

Have a great weekend!

Walking Dead. In case you didn't know....I hate Shane

Spoiler Alert!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I forgot to put that on my last post about the Walking Dead and people were MAD! 

Sorry geez. Relax.

So on last nights episode titled Judge, Jury, Executioner

Daryl interro-tortures the Randall the captive.

I don't like this kid.

He creeps me out.

So I am not sad that Daryl is kicking the crap out of him.

Amber who is home on break and is watching with me feels differently.

She feels sorry for the kid. I tell her to be quiet while she is in the Mom cave.

She puts on a frowny face......but I ignore her.

Anyway so Daryl goes back to the group and says he thinks he is bad news.

Rick decides the kid has to die for the safety of the group.

Of course Shane aka lets kill everybody aka lunatic agrees.

So does everyone else except Dale.

Dale convinces Rick to allow him to talk to the rest of the group 

to see if he can convince them to let the kid live.

So who does Dale go to first?

Crazy ass Andrea.

What the hell Dale, will you please get over your fatherly obsession with this crazy bitch?

So Dale asks crazy Andrea to guard Randall basically from Shane while he gets the input from the group.

Andrea agrees and while sitting there Shane wanders by comments on the fact that Andrea wouldn't stop him if he wanted to go in there and then says Rick is never going to follow through and that basically Rick is the cause of all of their problems. 

So Andrea quietly walks behind Shane and puts a bullet through his arrogant, insane, blood thirsty head.

And then shoots herself........

That actually didn't happen but I wish it did.

Meanwhile that son of a bitch carl who seriously needs to get his ass beat climbs into the barn and is all like hey prisoner whats up? Even though everyone including nutjob Shane told him to stay the hell out of there.

Randall starts begging Carl to help him and saying how he didn't do anything and Carl starts walking toward him......at first I thought oh shit he is going to shoot Randall himself but then Shane comes running in and shoves his gun in Randall's face because he is tough like that.

He yells at Carl like he has some kind of right and than send the kid on his way.

Dale goes to Daryl about Randall but Daryl is all....this group is broken. He says he doesn't care either way what happens. Dale is sad because he is the last human being in the group.....I added that part but its true.

Rick is tying and noose and Lori, who is really starting to grate on my nerves walks in all like Oh my God is that how you are going to kill him? And blah blah blah I have an opinion and I will manipulate you to do what I want by making you think it is your idea.....I recognize this tactic as I use it quite frequently to get my husband to do things my way.......She then asks about Shane and stupidly Rick responds that Shane won't be a problem.....Oh Rick how I love your stupid naive ways.

Carl tries to be all badass with Carol about Sophia and that does not make her happy she tells Rick and Lori that their son is a rude little jerk.

Dale wanders around trying to get someone just anyone to join his humanity team 

but ehhh no one is interested.

Carl happens upon a gun while snooping in Daryl's camp..... but he puts it right back because he almost died from getting shot.....nope I added that he is a moron and instead takes the gun and guess what he does? Wanders into the woods....where there are zombies and where he was shot and where Sophia was lost and then zombified.....but you whatevs he is cool and shit.

*****Meanwhile right at this moment of shear anxiety over Carl's stupidity....Amber leaves to go out with her friends and asks me to text her what happens to Carl.....but I won't because she should be staying home with me instead so......sucks to be her she will have to watch it to find out what happens.

Back to this.....Guess what happens?

Yep you are right he runs into a walker aka zombie and starts to run  away but then he realizes that the things feet are stuck in the mud so he does what any normal kid would do....he throws rocks at it.

He keeps getting closer and closer and than finally pulls the gun. But the zombie unsticks itself and grabs him by the leg. He gets away and I want to go through the television and beat his little ass.

Back at the farm they meet about Randall and dale begs, pleads and begs again but the only one to come to his side is Andrea which is kind of weird but I am glad she did.

The decision is made Randall must die.

As the sun sets Rick, Shane and Daryl drag Randall to the barn to be executed.

Randall begs for his life and in walks Carl.....is no one watching this kid??????

He says "dad do it" because he has been hanging around with Shane too long.

And Rick puts down his gun and tells Daryl to take him back to the holding barn/slaughter barn.

Shane has his I knew it face .....which I just can't stand

Rick goes back and tells the camp that they will be holding the prisoner for now.

Lori looks kind of disappointed but tells Rick its ok.

Andrea runs off to find Dale to tell him the news.

Dale is walking through the field when he hears an injured animal.

Its a cow whose stomach is completely ripped open.

As he turns to run the walker tackles him and proceeds to very grossly and what appears to be very painfully rip Dale's stomach open......by the way its the walker that Carl was messing with in the woods.

Dale screams.....obviously are head back at the camp and everyone starts running toward the screams. 

Carl is told to go directly to the house and lock the doors.

Daryl gets there and stabs the walker in the head.

Andrea is holding Dale who is like gutted....its so gross and awesome but mostly gross.

Hershel comes and pronounces dale unmove-able/ unsave-able.

Carl is there because you know his parents told him to go lock himself in the house but why should he listen to them......he sees that its the same walker and then runs to his mommy crying......what a sissy.

Everyone realizes dale is in pain and suffering so he should be put out of his misery. 

Rick can't do it so Daryl puts the gun to Dale's head. Dale moves his head closer so that the gun is pressed against it. His way of telling Daryl this is what he wants? 

And Daryl says sorry brother. He fires. The screen goes to black.

Another great episode. There are only two episodes left.....that makes me very sad.

Have a happy monday!

Happy Birthday Dr Suess

Today is Dr Suess's birthday.

I love Dr Suess.....as I am sure you do as well.....or at least I hope you do...other wise there is something wrong with you.

His use of words whether real or ones he invented himself have charmed children for years.

The colors and characters he used in his stories are what make children grab the books off of the shelf.

I also love the various quotes from him. Some silly, some funny, some sad but all with a ringing of truth.

Here are some of my favorites

"I meant what I said and I said what I meant."

"Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive that is you-er than you."

"Don't cry because its over. Smile because it happened."

"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. Its not."

"I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. 

Some from ahead and some from behind.

But I've bought a big bat.

I'm all ready you see.

Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me."

"How did it get so late so soon?

Its night before its afternoon.

December is here before its June.

My goodness how the time has flewn.

How did it get so late so soon?"

And my two favorites......

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter

and those who matter don't mind." 

"The more you read, the more things you will know. 

The more that you learn, the more places you'll go."

So Happy Birthday Dr. Suess!!!!

Thanks for 

the inspiration

the silliness

the joy

the love

the memories.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

"Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one" 

                                                                              Dr. Suess